Another bout of hiatus as I try to find a better paying job and also try to clean the house.
my day in a nutshell
Another bout of hiatus as I try to find a better paying job and also try to clean the house.
Sometimes I feel like some of my issues could be solved by drawing more. I could somehow get more people interested in my stuff, get some commissions, fill out my time, get better somehow in art, maybe improve my mood.
But then I try to draw anything but nothing comes out. It feels draining to try to draw something, only to stare at an empty screen trying to figure out what to draw. Coupled with the fact that I don’t really feel anything about what I draw, makes it harder to get started drawing.
I tried to do quests to see if I could do at least one drawing a day, but I find that I am spending less and less effort in trying to make panels and that I’m running out of things to fill out the story with.
And it’s beginning to feel more and more empty, doing the quest. I don’t mind doing it, but I am not feeling anything from it.
At times I feel like I should perhaps restart my parteon or something to try to incentivize myself, but I feel bad about setting up something like that. Like as if I’m lying.
I just don’t know, and trying to do something about it feels exhausting and tiresome.
Well someone just had a talk about getting children when my first brother is now my sister, and my second brother is gay.
Finding documents is a terrible thing.
Also again reminded of such a failure I am.
All these fucking documents I need to find, shit I need to clean, and I just want to sleep.
Just sleep and rest and be alone.
My mother, wheelchair bound due to a stroke, was knocked down by a car on her way back home on her motorized wheelchair, on the street just outside my home on last Saturday, 22nd April.
She hit her head badly and blood started swelling in her brain. The doctors put her under and drilled a hole in her skull to let blood out and she stayed medically sedated for her brain pressure to fall. Doctors had told us that she might not wake up, or if she does, she could be physically impaired.
26th April morning, I got a call from the hospital that my mom developed a lung infection and was under heavy medication and was in a critical condition. She died 3 hours later of pneumonia.
She had to have an autopsy because it was an official police case, but the driver was remorseful and had sent us flowers in the three day wake. She was cremated on Friday and in Saturday, we set her urn in the cemetery where my fathers future ashes would be set once his cemetery plot is expired.
My brother and I have been cleaning up the house from Friday, setting aside the mountain of craft hobbies my mother has. Due to culture and religion, we can’t throw her stuff for 7 days, in where her soul would return during the last day.
Personally I would rather throw all her stuff away, but my brother wants to sell some, and the rest of the extended family and friends would like some stuff too. This all makes cleaning the stuff harder as we play an eternal waiting and Tetris cleanup game.
Meanwhile, I’ve shoved my laptop and stuff back into my boxes since my brother is back and reclaimed his room while he stays over for the weekend.
In the end, we’ve decided that I should move out since I would be the only one left in a 3 room flat, and the others are kinda worried about what I’ll do with my life now that my time isn’t filled with helping my mother. I’m not sure about what will be up for the future either.
I guess I am technically an orphan now.
My mother passed away this morning.

I fixed it
Thank you for showing the truth.
Basically why I don’t work with colors ._.;;;
So with the pokedex coming close to an end, with gen 8 ending next month, I’ll need some other project to keep drawing.
Ive also had thoughts of seperating my tumblr for nsfw and sfw arts, or just for art and general stuffs.
Not all to sure on anything at all.
Kinda hesitant to ask if anyone wants to commission me for $50 for 3ds stuff.
Want to do an inktober, but I don’t know what to draw
Had the opportunity to test out a surface pro 4, and I have to say, I really dislike the accessories it had.
The keyboard would have been better off with a Bluetooth connection added for portrait mode or so you can have some form of remote keyboard or hotkey while not on a table. It’s inbuilt mouse pad also needs some work as often times I’d mistakenly tap the right side of the pad and it registers as a right click. While not really that bad, imagine having to scroll with it where you had to move your cursor to the right, then shift your finger to the left in order to click the scroll bar and slide up and down to scroll. The keyboard also straight up does not work unless you snap it to preconfigured positions.
The pen required me to give it an added push compared to Wacom pens meaning a lot of light strokes gets skipped and I had to decrease the sensitivity to even get the minimum pressure recorded. For scale, default setting would net me a range of 3-8, minimum sensitivity brings it from 1-5 while max sensitivity is 6-10.
Heat management was fine as long as you don’t rest it directly on your body, but having the pen rest on the left side of the machine is annoying when in landscape mode as you reach across the screen to snap it magnetically. The right side of the machine holds the charging and single USB port along with half the magnetic strip holding the pen in place, and the top and bottom doesn’t have said strip. Without the charging cable, the pen hangs halfway to the machine and can easily swing and slide off.
Verdict: It’s possible to get used to it, but I do not recommend it for an art tablet. If so, I’d recommend using it with a glove on your drawing hand.